In African years gone by dowry was a token of appreciation given to the bride's family by the groom's family during the traditional marriage ceremony. This was done as sign of uniting the two families involved. A single goat (believe it or not) was adequate enough to fulfill this rite of passage. Nowadays dowry has become a get-rich-quick scheme for the in-laws, a money heist of sorts.
Right out the gate, I'm not a dowry/lobola hater. I just don't like this modernized version of it. I mean, why should one have to pay for his future wife's education. That's basically a lumpsum refund, which begs the question, what role would the parents have paid if they want to be refunded for educating their own daughter? That just means that the groom is adopting his bride in every sense of the term, right?
It feels more like human trafficking now, which last time I checked was a crime. Asking for US$20,000 when the average Zimbabwean salary is barely US$200/month is ridiculous. If that's the introduction I'm getting to my wife's family I'm entering an extorsion ring, basically.
It would be cool if it ended there, after you've been fleeced during the traditional marriage ceremony the in-laws hit you up with, "Our daughter won't become yours until you have a wedding". Guess who's paying for that too? Already you're talking US$40,000 for both. So homeboy has to pay for the traditional wedding and the white wedding too? SHEESH!
Isn't the white wedding supposed to be taken care off by the bride's family? That's the original tradition.
It's no wonder that most are just skipping the process and eloping or just doing the court marriage thing. In the end it feels like you will get punished for doing things the right way.
One thing that is overlooked is, after y'all have gotten your stacks, what money is your daughter going to survive on? It has become a common thing for men to end up in massive debt because of this new "tradition".
So yeah, LOBOLA WTF?
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